Drinking Mad
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Sara finds comfort in a bottle. Grissom is blind to her agony until he sees what a destructive path she is going towards. He is faced with the decsion to help her before she goes to far. Warning: Some graphic violence


I sat in the lounge trying to stop the fuzziness of the last beer I had an hour ago. Grissom had called me into work and I took a break to clear my head. I started drinking to forget and try to feel better about my job and all the other terrible things I was going through. Grissom didn't care why should I. I went out drinking with Nick and Warrick a week later. I was stopped by the police and brought to the station. I dreaded what was going to happen. I felt eyes on me and as I rubbed my hands together I could feel his eyes on me. We rode in his car in silence. We got to my place and he turned off the engine.

"Thanks for the ride." I said, trying to make this as painless as I could.

"You're not leaving yet."

I sat back in the seat looking down.

"Sara, I can't figure you out. This year you have been so isolated. You've been avoiding everyone. Why?"

"I don't know."

He sighed looking at the steering wheel.

"You're on two weeks suspension with pay and you are seeing a counselor."

"Are we done?"

"Yes."

He watched me quickly get out and go to the stairs of my building. I stayed home for two weeks bored out of mind. I went to the counselor as Grissom told me to.

Then I came back to work. I got my stuff out of the locker and went to Grissom's room. Sophia and he sat talking and laughing in front of his desk. I knocked as they turned seeing me.

"Come in." He said "Your back."

"Yeah, I just wanted to check in."

"Well for now your at the lab. I don't have any new cases to work on."

"Okay." I said, going out.

I worked in the lab looking at a photo. Grissom walked in holding a book and a manila envelope.

"I need you to take this gun and look for any evidence." He said, taking out the gun out of the envelope.

"Right." I said, standing up.

He started to leave, but turned looking back at me.

"Sara?" He said "Did you see the counselor?"

"Yes."

He nodded before going out.

Later, I walked in the lounge getting coffee.

"Hey, Sara." Sophia said, as she walked in.

"Hey." I said, watching her as I sipped the hot coffee in the cup I held.

"I hope you don't have any problems this weekend." She said, as she poured some coffee in a cup beside me.

"Why?"

She faced me blowing some heat out of the cup.

"Gil and I are going away for the weekend."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, he is so…..what's the word?"

I moved away sitting in a chair.

Oh, I don't know. I really like him." She said "Have a good day."

I watched her leave as I sat thinking. I walked to his office with some results from the gun. He looked up as I entered.

"Hey." He said

"I got one fingerprint off the gun, but it was inconclusive."

"Well we will just have to try again."

"I better go…." I said, looking at him.

"Was there anything else?" he asked, noticing I hadn't moved.

"Ah….no….yes" I said, as I walked over to the door closing it.

He sat back in his chair watching me walk over again.

"What's wrong?"

"Um, I know it's none of my business but….are you and Sophia going out of town this weekend?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Why did you ask?"

"No reason, she said you were that's all." I said "Well I better go."

He watched me go out of his office without another word. That Friday Nick asked me to come out and I said yes walking with him down the hall. Grissom come out of his office seeing us.

"Where are you two headed?" He asked

"Just for drinks boss, want to come?" Nick asked

"No, Sara can I talk to you?"

"I'll meet you outside." Nick said, as he walked to the door.

I walked over to his office as he followed me closing the door.

"Drinks?" He asked

I looked at him.

"Grissom."

"Sara, what did we talk about?"

"Look I need a release….why do you care anyway?"

"You are very angry and alcohol will not help."

"Grissom go have fun with Sophia and leave me alone." I said, leaving.

I walked out to the parking lot seeing Nick standing by some cars waiting.

"Come on Nick."

He caught up with me going to my car.

"Everything all right?"

"It is now."

Nick and I hit the bars on the strip. I laughed as Nick swung me around the sidewalk towards the end of our night on the strip.

"We are both plowed." I said, as we got out of cab.

"Yeah." He said, throwing money at the cab driver. We stumbled up the stairs to the second floor hallway.

"Look over there." Nick said, pointing to the man standing outside my door.

"That's looks like Grissom." I said

Nick took my hand as we walked stumbling over to him. Grissom watched us walk over with a stone expression.

"Hello….Grissom." I said

"Hello." He said

"Hey boss." Nick said, giggling.

"Wait a minute that can't be Grissom. He is supposed to be on a trip with what's her name." I said

"Who?" Nick asked

"What's her name?"

"Oh."

Grissom watched us laugh as we wavered on our feet.

"I decided to stay." He said

I reached in my blue coat getting out the keys of my apartment. He took them unlocking the door letting us stumble inside. Nick fell to the floor as I laughed helping him up.

"Where's a bed?" Nick asked

"You sleep on the couch." I said, pulling him over to the couch.

Grissom closed the door watching Nick collapse on the couch. I walked banging into the coffee table holding out a hand for the wall. I disappeared into my bedroom falling to the floor. Grissom came in watching me crawl over the bed sitting on the floor.

"I am disappointed in you." He said

"Your always….disa…..what?"

"Disappointed." He said, coming over to me helping me up on the bed. I stood up almost falling back.

"What else is new?" I said

"When you sober up we can talk."

I stumbled forward and he caught me I looked at him seeing he was mad. He let me go then he left closing the front door.

Monday, I was teamed up with Sophia and Grissom. As we were driving to the crime scene Sophia turned in her seat looking at me.

"So Sara what did you do this weekend?"

"I don't know." I said, being truthful.

"What does that mean?"

"It means I don't remember."

"You must have been bombed."

"Yeah, I suppose so."

Grissom looked at me from the mirror. I ignored his stare looking out the window.

Later I got my stuff out of my locker when Grissom came in seeing me.

"How are you?"

"Fine." I said, moving to leave.

"Going home?" He asked

"Yeah, you?"

"Yes." He said, closing his locker.

"Bye." I said

He nodded watching me leave. Sophia waited for him standing outside his locked office. She smiled at me waving as I went by. I went to the front desk looking back seeing Grissom meet up with Sophia walking in my direction. I quickly left going home.

While Grissom was talking to the sheriff about the case I was looking over a car with Sophia in the car crime lab garage. I knelt down inside beside the back seat looking at every inch of the cushion. Sophia got in the front looking at the driver's side.

"You and Grissom seem serious." I said, regretting my comment.

She looked over at me then went back to the seat.

"You could say that." She said "Why do you want to know?"

"I am just curious."

She nodded looking at something on the seat.

"Well you know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat."

"Let's just drop it." I said, uncomfortable.

"Weren't you dating a paramedic?"

"Yes." I said "It didn't work out."

"I wonder why?" She said, under her breath. I turned looking at her as she looked at me.

"I wonder why?"

"Sara, you aren't exactly friendly. If you were maybe he would have stuck around."

"I don't believe this! You are giving me advice?" I asked, getting out of the car to stand next to it looking at her.

"I am just saying that when it comes to men I make it work."

"Sophia, I didn't ask for advice from you."

"Well I am giving it freely. You pretty much ruined your chances with Gil."

I was taken aback by her remarks. She looked up at me from the seat.

"Why am I even listening to you?" I said, walking out.

"Sara?" She called

I turned watching her get out of the car walking over to me.

"Can I give you advice?"

"No." I said, turning away.

"They say history repeats itself. If I were you I would get help as soon as I can."

I stopped dead at the doorway turning to look at her.

"What?"

"I know about your family." She said, coming closer "I know what happened."

Grissom and Brass walked down the hall towards the garage.

"You think this guy whoever he is tossed the body then went to his mother's house and killed her."

"We don't know if there is a body. She could still be alive." Grissom said, as they walked.

Screaming came from the garage as Brass looked at Grissom then started running to the door. I grabbed Sophia slapping her as she screamed for help.

"Sara!" Grissom shouted, grabbing me pulling me away from Sophia. I struggled against his grip staring at her as Brass grabbed her pulling her away from me. Her hair was all over the place and her cheek was red. "Stop!"

I stopped glaring at the woman I had just hit.

"What happened?" Brass asked

"I don't know. I was just talking to her and she lost it." Sophia said

"You're a liar!" I said, going after her again, but Grissom held me back.

"Sara, stop! Jim take Sara into the lounge to cool off."

"Okay." Brass said. Taking me by the arm pulling me out as I glared at Sophia. She sighed looking at me then at Grissom.

Brass watched me sit in a chair putting my head in my hands. He got some water for me but I just shook my head. Grissom came in seeing me in the same position.

"Sara!" He said. I looked up at him. "My office now!"

I sighed standing walking past Brass going to Grissom's office. He closed the door loudly as I stood with my back to him.

"Explanation?"

"I don't have one."

He came around to face me shaking my arms till I looked at him.

"Sophia wants to talk to Ecklie about this. At this point I don't blame her."

I looked to the side not saying a thing.

"I want you to tell me what is going on?"

Someone knocked at the door and he let me go walking over to answer it. Ecklie stood fuming at the door.

"Gil, I want to talk to Sara."

"Come in." He said, closing the door behind him. Ecklie came around to Grissom desk staring at me.

"You are loose cannon, Sidle. Fighting with coworkers. Fighting with suspects and victims. You obviously are not taking this job seriously. Give me a reason why I should not fire you right now."

I looked at him silently. Grissom came over to stand beside me.

"Conrad, if she apologizes for her actions. I will put her on suspension without pay for two weeks."

I looked at Grissom as he glanced at me.

"You apologize right now."

"No." I said

Ecklie looked at me not happy.

"Then go home and look for another job. Leave your gun here and give me your badge."

Grissom stared at me as I put my gun on the desk with the badge. I left his office feeling tears starting to form.

"Ecklie, I need Sara." Grissom said, as Ecklie took my gun and badge.

"If she can't follow the rules then she needs to find other employment, Gil."

I sat outside in my car looking at my apartment building with tears going down my face. I wiped my cheeks opening the door getting out. I started going up the stairs when I heard a car drive up and the door close. I turned seeing Grissom walking over.

"Why are you here?" I asked, wiping my eyes.

"To talk to you." He said, looking up at me.

"I am not apologizing to her. She was wrong, not me."

"Sara, let's go inside." He said, coming up to me. I sniffed walking up with him. I entered my house going straight to the couch sniffing. He closed the door looking at me. Walking over he sat in a chair beside me waiting.

"Would you like something to drink?" I asked, looking at him.

"No. I want you to talk to me."

"About what?" I asked, wiping my eyes.

"Well, first of all why you had Sophia in a fight to the death today? Why you are really drinking? Why you seem mad at the world?"

"Didn't you talk to her?"

"I did, now I want your side of it."

"I don't know."

"That's not an answer."

I looked at him with watery eyes then I looked down.

"When I was young my mother killed my father in the living room. I had come home from school and there were cops all over the house. I remember blood everywhere on the furniture, walls and floor. A black bag with two cops carrying it went past me on the front porch and my mother was taken out next in handcuffs screaming my name as two cops pulled her out."

Grissom sighed looking at me.

"I don't know how, but Sophia knows about it. She said history might repeat itself. Do you think I could have that murder gene?"

"No, I don't." He said

"Now I have lost my job….and everything I have worked for is gone." I said, feeling a sob climb up from my throat. I held my head as I cried embarrassed that I broke down in front of him. I heard him move to sit next to me pulling me over to his warm body. His arms went around me as he rubbed my shaking back.

"Don't worry, I will talk to them."

I reached up clutching his brown jacket. He put his head against mine rocking me back and forth. Later he looked at me lying still on the couch sleeping before he left.

Ecklie sat at his desk in his small office filling out papers when Grissom strolled in.

"If this is about Sara, then you know the way out."

"Conrad, I will take full responsibility for her. I want her back. This lab needs her." Grissom said, as he leaned over the desk.

Ecklie sat back looking at him.

"The lab doesn't need her, Gil. You do. She is loose cannon, a danger to others."

"This time she will do better."

"Okay, fine Gil, you win, but one more mistake and she is out of here."

"Okay." Grissom said

"One other thing. I want her to apologize to Sophia."

"She won't."

"If she wants this job back she better." Ecklie said

I sat at my desk beside the couch later with a beer in my hand. The doorbell went off as I drank from the can. Walking over to the door I opened it seeing Grissom again.

"Two visits in the same day. Must be serious."

"I talked to Ecklie and you can start back tomorrow." He said, coming inside. I closed the door noticing he was staring at he can in my hand.

"Want some?" I asked, lifting the can.

"No, and from now on you are not going to have any either." He said, taking the can from my hand going to the kitchen to pour it down the sink. "You can come to work, but you cannot drink, you must follow the rules and you have to apologize to Sophia."

"No, I am not apologizing to her." I said, shaking my head.

"Do you want to work again?" He asked, as he threw the empty can in the garbage then he stood up looking at me.

I sighed crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yes."

"Good, then tomorrow before we work you will go to Sophia and apologize."

I nodded looking down.

The next evening I walked down the hallway to where Sophia was in the lounge. Ecklie chatted with her and I started to turn around. Grissom tapped on the glass in trace pointing to the lounge. I gave him a look then walked down. Sophia saw me coming and stood up as Ecklie stood beside her watching me.

"Sophia, I apologize for everything I said and for slapping you. I didn't mean to do it."

She looked at Ecklie then at me slowly nodding. I looked at Ecklie then I nodded walking out.

"Sara?" Ecklie called

I turned in the hallway watching him come over to me.

"You are on a trial run. If I see or hear of any other problems then you can consider yourself gone." He said, putting his finger in my face. I took a breath slowly nodding biting my tongue. Grissom walked over watching us.

"Is there anything else, Ecklie?" He asked him

"I don't know is there?" He asked me

I shook my head watching him huff away down the hall.

"Come on Sara." Grissom said, looking in the direction that Ecklie went. Then he looked at Sophia standing at the lounge doorway looking unhappy that I had come back. I went to his office watching him put some papers on his desk then he turned to me. "Let's go."

I followed him outside to his car getting in. He drove out of the parking lot going down the street.

"Do we have a case?" I asked

"No." He said, looking at the road.

"Then what are we doing?"

"You'll see." He said, glancing at me.

We drove out of town to the desert. Grissom turned off onto a deserted road stopping by a large rock in the middle of nowhere. He got out as I did looking around.

"Why are we here?"

"There is supposed to be a meteor shower tonight."

"You brought me out here to look at meteors?" I asked, watching him climb up the rock "What about work?"

"This is work." He said, holding out his hand to me. I took his hand allowing him to pull me up. He sat at the top with me beside him. I watched him look all over the sky at the many stars above.

I looked up looking at the stars then at him again.

"What's wrong?" He asked, not looking at me.

"Well, this is a very odd thing to do."

"No it isn't. Not if you're an astronomer."

"When does it start?"

"Soon. We can talk while we wait."

"What about?"

"You." He said, looking at me.

"I thought we were done."

"Sara, we have hardly reached the surface. I want you to tell me why you drink?"

I fidgeted looking down at the car below then at him.

"Because…I see horrible things every day and you once told me to find an outlet."

"I didn't mean to drink."

"Well, I tried other things and they didn't help." I said, joking. He looked at me seriously.

"You need to find a different way to respond to the things we deal with. Take up a hobby. Like stargazing." He said, looking up at the sky.

"I am not interested in anything."

"There has to be something you are interested in besides, alcohol and your police scanner. You need friends and some male friends."

"Grissom, when men see me coming they run to the mountains." I said, leaning back looking up.

He looked up at the stars seeing the meteors starting to go flying past. I watched them start to fall as we sat in silence. After about two hours Grissom stood starting to descend down the rock. He turned at the bottom reaching out for my hand. I slowly came down catching myself from slipping. I slid down at the bottom and he caught me. I looked at him as he held me searching my face. He let me go coughing.

"Let's get back to town. We'll stop and eat somewhere." He said, walking to the Tahoe. I walked over to the car looking at him as I opened my side of the car getting in.

We ate at a diner he knew well. He watched me clean my salad plate then we drove back to the lab.

"Did you have fun?" He asked, as we walked to the doors of the lab.

"Yeah."

"Good." He said, opening the door for me. Sophia waited for Grissom to come in. She looked at me as I walked past then she faced Grissom.

"Can we talk?"

"Yes, Sara go ahead and work on the case."

I nodded walking past them down the hallway. Grissom entered his office as Sophia came in closing the door. He turned on the light at his desk looking at her.

"What's up?"

"Well, the first thing is I don't want to work with Sara."

"Why. She apologized."

"She is dangerous. If you hadn't come I would probably be hurt worse than I was."

"Sophia, I give you my word she will not attack you."

"You don't get it, Gil. She is unstable." She said, leaning over the desk at him.

"I do understand, Sophia. Sara is helping with the case end of story." He said, looking at her.

"I see how much you care for my safety. Or do you only defend those you secretly love?"

"I think you should go back to work."

She nodded looking at him then she walked out slamming the door behind her. He sat back in his chair taking his glasses off sighing.

Sophia came in to the lab where I looked at some clothes on the lit up table. She snapped some gloves on walking over glancing at me as she opened a brown bag taking out a knife. I heard her sigh loudly as she worked not speaking to me. Ecklie walked over observing us through the lab window. He watched us work without talking seeing Grissom walk over to the door looking at him.

"Something I can do for you?"

Ecklie looked at him then walked away.

I walked out into the parking lot seeing Grissom talking to Sophia at the other end. Sophia seemed mad about something as she made motions with her hands. Grissom nodded patiently listening to her. I saw her look over at me rolling her eyes as she started talking again. Grissom looked over at me then back at her putting up his hands to shut her up. I walked to my car unlocking the door getting in. As I parked at my place and got out I saw Grissom driving in next to me. He got out coming around to join me on the side walk.

"Is this a social visit or am I fired again?"

"No, just a social visit."

"Come up." I said, going hearing him following. I let him inside yawning as I shut the door.

"I am not staying long. I just wanted to say that I am proud of you."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"So this visit isn't to babysit me and make sure that I don't drink?"

"We both know the answer to that." He said, watching me go past him to the kitchen to get a bottle of cold water out of the refrigerator. He peeked in as I had the door opened seeing beer cans on the shelf. I moved taking a sip from the bottle turning to watch him opening the fridge taking out the two six packs of beer I had placing them on the counter. I looked at them then at him.

"What are you doing?"

"I want you to pour all of these down the drain."

"What?" I asked, putting my water bottle on the counter.

"I won't leave until the last of it is gone." He said, leaning against the fridge.

"I paid for this beer."

"I told Ecklie that you would follow the rules. Pour it."

I knew if I didn't he would stay there all day if he had to. I walked over looking at him as I slowly popped them open lifting the six of them pouring them down the drain. It was painful watching it all go down. The other six went down then I tossed them looking at him.

"What else do you have?"

"Nothing."

He stood up walking towards me as I backed up. He reached above opening the cabinets finding Vodka in a bottle. He looked at me as he put the half full bottle onto the counter.

"Anything else?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Someone has to stop this before it goes out of control. Pour it." He said, motioning to the bottle.

I opened it pouring that down as well.

"I hope you are not hiding anything else in here. Now I will go, but I will be back soon." He said, taking the trash bag of beer bottles and a vodka bottle before leaving. I watched him go unhappy.

My brain kept telling me to get some beer all day as I tossed and turned. When it was time to work again I walked in the building feeling rough. Grissom watched me come into the lab where he and Sophia were already hard at work.

"Sara, you're late." He said

"I'm sorry." I said, looking at him with sleep deprived eyes.

"I don't want it to happen again. You and I are going to meet Brass at the suspect's house."

We drove away from the building and I put my head on the glass closing my eyes enjoying the coolness of the glass. Grissom looked at me as we stopped at a light.

"Sara?"

I moved my head opening my eyes looking over at me as he looked at me.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine, just tired. I didn't sleep very well." I said, closing my eyes again putting my head back on the glass. I felt the car in motion again lulling me to sleep.

Grissom stopped the car along the street seeing Brass and two officers waiting on the sidewalk outside of the house. He undid his seat belt reaching over to touch my arm. I moved opening my eyes looking over at him.

"Ready?" He asked

"Yes." I said, shaking the tiredness away to exit the car. He walked with me putting his hand along my back then on my arm walking towards Brass.

"I already have a bad feeling about this place." Brass said, as he gave us the warrant.

"This gives us permission to search everywhere." Grissom said, as he folded the warrant.

"Let's do it." Brass said, taking back the warrant as he made his way up to the beat up front door. Grissom and I stood back with the officers as Brass knocked at the door.

"Police open up!" Brass yelled

I turned looking around as the front door opened and a young woman answered looking nervously at us.

"Yes?" She asked

"I am Captain Jim Brass and they are from the crime lab we have come to search your brother's house."

She looked back inside the house then at Brass.

"No, it's not a good time."

"We have a warrant to search this place from top to bottom, now move and let us in!" He yelled

She swallowed moving the door to let us inside the house. Brass took a look around the place once inside. Grissom came in next followed be me. The smell in the house was horrible.

"You smell that? A body is in here." Grissom said, looking around.

"My brother told me to not let anyone in!" The girl cried

"Take her out of her!" Brass said

Once she was outside we walked around quietly seeing a door shut in the kitchen. I looked at Grissom as he looked at me.

"The smell is strong in here." Brass said, trying to breathe through his mouth.

Grissom went to the door trying to open it. He handed me his field kit as he pushed hard. It came open and the smell was overwhelming. I gasped bending over as Brass covered his mouth and nose. Grissom turned on his maglight pointing it inside.

"Coming?" He asked, going down some steps.

I tried to hold my breath as I started to go down holding our field kits. I reached the bottom horrified by what I was seeing. A woman dead for some time was lying stretched out on a table in the middle of the room with flies buzzing all around her. She had large hooks stretching her skin on all sides as she decayed bloated and bloodied. Grissom walked around as I yelled to brass that we had a body. There were many photos taken up on the wall all of woman this man had been watching and stalking. I went over trying not to look at the woman lying behind me stopping as I noticed something.

"Grissom?"

He turned walking over seeing what I was seeing. A photo of me going to my car. He stepped closer looking at it better. I came back up not being able to stand it anymore. My clothes smell like death everything did. It scared me to think that the suspect had me in his sights. I stood outside as Grissom gave some last minute orders then he came over to me.

"What now?" I asked, not looking at him.

"We get the bad guy." He said, putting his hand on my back leading me away. Seth Groves sat in the interrogation room in orange overalls tapping his fingers as Grissom and I came in with Brass. He looked at me as I sat down beside Grissom.

"We found a very interesting item in your house." Grissom said, as he pushed a photo of the woman in front of him. He shook his head touching the photo.

"She was my favorite. I found her in the park. She screamed for me. I told her I would not hurt her and then I had to."

"Why?" I asked, feeling his eyes go down my chest then up at my eyes. He smiled making me shiver as he sat back.

"I forgot all about her when I saw you that day. Walking to your car. If I hadn't been caught you and I could have had some fun."

I looked at him coldly as he kept his eyes level with mine.

"You like Chinese food?"

Brass slammed his fist on the table making Seth jump.

"Hey man, don't do that!"

"I am tired of these games, Groves. If you don't play nice then I will make sure that every prisoner in that jail knows your personal number."

Groves looked at him then at us. I came out after hearing him recall all the women he met and killed. Grissom came out with Brass then Seth came out smiling at me as the cop took him down the hall to the lock up. Grissom watched Brass walk away then he took my arm leading me away. I sat in a chair in front of Grissom's desk just staring into space as he watched me from his seat behind his desk.

"When will all these whack jobs be caught?" I asked

"I don't know." He said, calmly

"Every time we put another one away I think why am I doing this? What is the point when another one pops up?"

"The point is that every time one gets put away another woman walks around safe." He said "Or another man. That's why we do it."

I sat still looking down when I felt a yawn hit me.

"You should go home to bed."

"Yeah." I said, getting up from the chair.

"I will see you tomorrow."

I walked out to my car hearing someone coming over towards me. Turning, I saw Grissom holding his keys standing on the curb.

"There is another meteor shower tomorrow night. Want to join me?"

"What about work?"

"We both have the evening off."

"Oh, okay." I said, smiling.

He smiled faintly walking away. In the car I couldn't shake the feeling that something was happening with Grissom. Something had changed with Grissom and I was interested to find out what. After a restless day of sleep I came down the steps at eight to see Grissom waiting in his car. He smiled at me as I got in then he backed up and we were off. I turned in the seat to look behind it smelling food.

"I got some things at the diner to eat while we watch the sky." He explained

We drove to the spot that we were before parking beside the large rock. He reached behind me getting the bags with the food inside then got out. I followed to the rock. He handed me the bags climbing up turning to grab the bags. He turned putting them down then he turned back to help me up. Once on top we sat down with the bag between us looking around.

"When did you find this spot?" I asked

"There was a crime scene near here and I just saw this place driving by and thought it was a perfect place to sightsee. I come here all the time."

"Alone?"

He looked at me then up at the sky.

"Yes."

We sat in silence for a few moments enjoying the silence.

"Look there is the big dipper." He said

"Where?" I asked

He moved the bag over to his other side coming over to me taking my hand he pointed with my finger up to the sky.

"See?"

"Oh, yeah." I said, feeling my hand being lowered, but he didn't let it go. I looked at him as he looked up then he looked at me.

He put his hand on my cheek leaning forward kissing me. I closed my eyes kissing him feeling the excited flutter in my stomach. His arms wrapped around me pulling me closer. After a moment he moved away looking at me breathing out searching my eyes.

"Sara, I told you that I didn't know what to do about this, but I do now."

"What?" I asked, weakly.

"Is it to late?"

"No, but I don't want to be hurt."

"I promise I will not hurt you."

I smiled pulling him to me in a hug. He smiled closing his eyes against my shoulder. We ate our meal then sat back looking up at the heaven's. He climbed down several hours later helping me down holding me to him a moment before taking my hand leading me to the car. Once inside buckled in we drove back to town holding hands. He parked outside of my home looking down at our hands.

"Want to come in?" I asked

"If you don't mind?"

I smiled getting out grabbing his hand again as we went up the stairs to my place. We watched a movie sitting on the couch. I laid my head on his lap as he smoothed my hair watching the movie.

At the end he turned it off sighing looking at his wrist watch.

"I have to go home."

I rolled over facing him touching his shirt buttons.

"You could stay?"

"I don't think we are ready yet for that."

I nodded sitting up facing him.

"Grissom, what made you change your mind?"

"I don't know. I just started to wake up."

I moved putting my head on his chest feeling his arms go around me.

"There is something I should tell you."

"What is it?"

"I started drinking because of you."

"I know."

"I might slip up now and again." I said, moving to look at him.

"I know dear, but that is why I am here to watch you." He said, touching my face "Now, you have to go to bed and I have to go home."

The next week Grissom had me work with him again. We made our way to the house on the street seeing the lights flickering with police lights. People crowded the neighborhood street talking to each other. Grissom took my arm as we walked up to the house seeing Brass.

"The body of a woman is up on the top floor. The husband came home from a night out with the guys and found her." Brass said

"Signs of forced entry?" Grissom asked

"No."

I looked at Grissom then turned on my flashlight going inside. The house was dark except for a lamp in the living room on the left. I walked up some the stairs while Grissom looked around down stairs. I saw her lying at the foot of the stairs. Her nightgown was bloody from an obvious knife wound to the chest. The open unseeing eyes stared up at the ceiling. I walked past her to the other rooms looking at the bedrooms. Grissom came up finding me in the master bedroom looking at a picture that was on the dresser of the woman and husband.

"Happy couple." I said, putting the picture back on the dresser.

"Let's get to work."

We worked our way up the stairs collecting finger prints and shoe prints. Bagging everything for evidence. Dave came up with his two helpers from the morgue. Grissom stood talking to him as I explored the other bedroom. Lights from outside flickered against the wall as I looked at the windows then at the floor. A closet next to the bed caught my attention. I walked over to it putting my hand on the knob opening it looking inside. Clothes hung on hangers I noticed that the ceiling in the closet opened up to the attic.

"Grissom?" I called

He came in coming over to stand next to me looking up.

"Looks like the way to the attic." I said, quietly.

I was lifted up able to climb rest of the way. Grissom shined his light up at me.

"What do you see?" He asked

"I don't know." I said, shining my light around the small space. I crawled over to the back seeing a few boxes piled up against each other. Grissom listened as I gently opened them looking inside.

"Sara?"

"Grissom, we need the bomb squad out here now." I said, looking down into the box.

"What did you find?" He called

"A box full of pipe bombs."

"Everybody back!" The police shouted, as they moved the neighbors back from the house. I sat looking down at the bombs sweating. A man in a protected suit came up making his way over to me. He looked down at the bombs. I swallowed hearing him us his walkie talkie to talk to someone.

"I want you to move slowly to the exit then you get out of here." He said

I slowly crawled away coming down seeing Grissom and some over bomb squad personnel.

Grissom grabbed my field kit leading me away. We went down the stairs when we heard someone up stairs shouting.

The explosion was powerful. Grissom pounced me as we fell through floors hitting the bottom. Brass and everyone outside hid for cover as the house ripped apart falling into fire and rubble. I woke hearing water and some movement nearby. Grissom stood coughing looking around the smoky basement as the weight creaked above. He paced the floor trying to get his cell phone to work.

"Gris?" I called out, weakly. He came over kneeling down to me.

"Sara, everything is all right. Help is coming."

"Where are we?"

"Basement I think. Anything broken?"

"I don't know I am to tired to move."

"You could have a concussion."

I laid my head back down on the cold floor was he stayed where he was next to me trying to reach someone outside.

"How long will it take?"

"I don't know." He said, looking up at the ceiling as he listened for someone to answer. "Jim, its gil."

I closed my eyes faintly hearing him talk. I wanted to sleep more than anything. Grissom hung up looking at me touching my cheek patting it.

"Sara, stay awake."

"I am." I said, not opening my eyes.

"I mean it. Open your eyes."

Opening my eyes, I looked up at him as he touched my cheek.

"Jim said he's coming."

"Good."

He moved checking me for injuries I winched as he touched my leg.

"I think your leg is broken."

Some debris started falling as Grissom covered me with his body. I coughed as it quit feeling his body get off me. He looked around as I looked at him.

"I hope they come soon." I said, coughing.

"They will."

He helped me up so we could rest by the wall. He sat me in front of him so I could lean back against him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, against my ear.

"Other than my leg and head hurting."

He kissed my head putting his arms around my body. I sighed laying my head back against his chest. The ceiling creaked again making Grissom look up as I closed my eyes.

"I'm really tired." I said

"I need you to stay awake." He said

"Let's talk then."

"What about?"

"I don't know."

"Let's talk about our next date."

I opened my eyes feeling him nuzzle my neck.

"It's not star gazing is it?"

"No. I was thinking a nice dinner."

"That sounds nice."

"It will be."

"With this broken leg I should have a lot of time to think."

"About what?"

"About my life and us."

"Is your life that bad?"

"No, but I was thinking about seeing my mom."

"You should sometime."

"With this leg it will give me a reason to."

The ceiling creaked again as some dust came down. Grissom looked up at it as I did.

"That doesn't sound good." I said

"No."

He took out his cell again doing the speed dial putting it to his ear. Then he lifted it up to look seeing no signal. I watched him lower it back down then sigh. I closed my eyes silently waiting. Grissom looked around the room then he touched me.

"Sara!" He shook me

"What?"

"Don't go to sleep."

I sighed looking around.

"Grissom, you can't keep me awake forever. Either we have to talk or let me sleep."

"You have to stay awake. We'll talk just stay awake."

"Then talk."

"Okay, do you remember that day when the lab exploded?"

"How could I forget. You rejected me."

"When I watched you walk away I felt like I lost you already. I didn't think I would ever feel like that and yet I do with you."

"I knew I had lost you when I saw you with Sophia." I said, looking down.

"You never lost me Sara." He said, kissing my head.

A noise caught our attention as we heard voices then some light as people dug through the mess. I was sent to the hospital with Grissom holding my hand. They put a cast on my leg then sent me home telling Grissom I needed rest. He put me on sick leave making me stay home for several weeks. The long hours at home grated on my last nerve then Grissom would come over and stay.

As our relationship progressed it seemed like we were on the verge of making a decision. I had hoped the Grissom would choose soon whether to make a commitment or choose to leave.

I hobbled with crutches in the lab going down the hallway to the lounge seeing Greg come out he smiled watched me come.

"You seem to be getting better at walking with those."

"I can't wait to get the cast off."

"When is that?"

"Next week."

He nodded watching me head in the lounge to get some coffee. Catherine came in looking at my cast then at me.

"How are you?"

"Fine, where is Grissom?"

"He is in his office with a special visitor." She said, grabbing an apple out of the community fridge.

"Who?"

"Lady Heather."

I watched her leave remembering the woman that years ago obsessed Grissom. This bothered me that she was in the building. I ate a sandwich at the table seeing Grissom walking down the hall with the woman in question. She wore a black skirt suit with a tag that said visitor. She seemed to mesmerize him as they walked past the lounge down towards interrogation.

That next week my cast was off and I felt free to move around. I came into work going straight to Grissom's office when I jumped seeing Lady Heather and Grissom coming out.

"Hello Sara." She said

"Hello." I said, uneasy.

"Gil told me you had been hurt."

"Yes, but I am fine now." I said, looking at Grissom.

"Is there something you needed?" He asked

"No. I just wanted to stop in and tell you that….I might have results."

"Oh, I will come by later and talk to you."

"It's nice to see you again Sara."

"You to."

She smiled then walked away with Grissom. He never did come and check on the results. After work I went over to his office again seeing Lady Heather sitting on his desk as Grissom sat back in his seat listening to her. He looked over at me at the door.

"Sara, come in."

I walked in watching Heather stand behind his desk looking at me.

"Sara?" Grissom said

"I was wondering if you wanted to have breakfast?" I asked, walking up to the desk.

"I can't right now."

"She can come, Gil." Heather said "I already asked Gil to have breakfast with me. Do you want to join us?"

I stared at her shaking my head.

"No, I actually just want to go home."

"Sara?" Grissom called, but I was gone.

I laid on my couch watching the news unable to sleep. My phone rang on the coffee table next to two empty beer cans. Sighing, I lifted the phone up seeing Grissom was calling. Putting the phone to my ear I answered.

"Sidle."

"Are you sleeping?" He asked

"No, watching the news."

"Sara, you don't have to worry."

"I am not worried."

"You act as if you are."

"I'm fine."

"All right, listen I will talk to you tonight."

"Okay."

With that I hung up lying back looking at the news. I came in early walking into his office not seeing him. Walking over to his desk I looked at some papers he had in a pile. He came in seeing me closing the door making me turn to look at him.

"You're in early." He said

"So are you."

"Can't be helped." He said, coming over to me. I let him pull me to him kissing me. He moved back looking at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Have you been drinking?"

"No. why?" I asked, moving away from him.

"I can smell it on your breath." He said, as he leaned back against his desk watching me sit on his couch "Well?"

"Okay, I had three beers." I said, looking down.

"Why?" He asked, in a mad tone.

"I was upset."

He came over sitting down beside me. It made me think of the night he came to take me home. I looked at him as he just sat there looking at me.

"What are you going to do?" I asked

"I don't know. I am trying to think."

I looked down playing with my fingers when he stood up going to the closed door.

"Come on."

"Where are we going?" I asked, standing.

"You'll see."

I walked with him down the hallway to the morgue he stopped at the doors motioning for me to follow. We went in seeing Dave standing beside a body on the table.

"Dave where is the body that came in last night?"

"In the lock up." He said

"Can we see him alone for a few minutes?"

"Sure." He said, walking over bending over a door opening it as he pulled a body in a bag out on a tray. He then nodded looking at me before leaving.

Grissom unzipped the bag then looked at me.

"Look."

I slowly walked over seeing a man that was just a mess. Grissom watched me look at the man then I looked at Grissom.

"This man died last night because he had a few beers and decided to go for a spin. He left behind a wife and a newly born daughter."

"Why are you telling me this? I would never go for a drive after drinking."

"You did when you came to work."

I walked out quickly leaving him to go outside for air. Grissom followed me walking over.

"Sara, I know you would not intentionally harm a person, but you do have a problem."

I walked away to the side of the building sitting down. He sat down beside me.

"I saw you and Heather together. It bothered me and I just picked up the one thing that helped me feel better."

"Sara, you have nothing to get upset about. I want to be with you, not Sophia or Lady Heather, but you."

I nodded looking over at him. He pulled me to him kissing my head.

"What now?" I asked

"You're not going out on the field. I can either send you home or you can help me out doing paperwork."

"Paperwork."

"All right, as of today if I even smell alcohol on your breath I will suspend you without pay. Is that understood?"

"Yes."

"I mean it Sara. Just because we are dating doesn't mean I won't throw the book at you."

"Yes, boss."

He helped me up taking me inside to do work. I organized his pile as Catherine came in seeing us both sitting at his desk working.

"Gil, I just got a call from Nick. He said that he and Greg need an extra hand at the scene. I am going to go unless Sara will." She said, glancing at me.

"Sara is helping me tonight. You go ahead if you need me I have my cell." He said, glancing at me then at her.

"Okay." Catherine said, going.

"Sara, pass me the letter in your hand." He said, as he worked.

I slept on my bed feeling him lean over me to kiss my head. He moved back smiling as I slept on my stomach fully clothed in bed. As he got up I moved my head opening my eyes seeing him getting ready to leave. He looked at me again then went out shutting the door behind him.

Nick walked with me along the street alleyway as Grissom called everyone on the case on an abducted district attorney. Grissom walked in the alleyway holding his phone.

"What do we have?"

"We have tire tread on the pavement. It looks like they were hauling out of here." Nick said

"What else?"

"I found a taser thrown behind the dumpster." I said, holding the bag up to show him.

"The camera is not working in this alleyway."

"Well maybe we will have better luck with the street cameras. Somebody has to remember a fast moving vehicle." Nick said

"Go back to the lab and check it out. Sara I want you to dust everything. We might get lucky."

Grissom walked back from where he came from out on the street with Catherine and Warrick. Nick and went back to the lab looking at the taser dusting the weapon for any kind of print. I taped it getting a clear finger print on the side.

Grissom stood with Nick watching the street cameras pick up a black car speeding through traffic. I came in with the results of the finger print.

"I got results back." I said, handing Grissom the paper. He watched the big screen a moment before looking at the results.

"Is this definitive?" He asked, looking at me.

"Yes." I said

He went past me touching my arm before running out. I looked at Nick shrugging my shoulders. Grissom walked with Brass down the hallway.

"It is Ben Gunklin, Jim."

"Okay, but where is he headed?"

Nick ran over with me following.

"Grissom, they are twenty miles from here in the desert." Nick said

"That's where his father's had his junkyard." Brass said

He started walking away leaving us. Grissom packed us in a car driving behind the police as we went to Ben Gunklin's father's junkyard. I held onto the dash board as Grissom swerved on to the dusty sandy road. The cars stopped and the police got out of the vehicles with bullet proof vests. Brass took the lead with his gun out running around the abandoned junk. We all got out following.

"Ben Gunklin, this is Jim Brass come out with your hands up!" Brass said as he hid behind an old car.

"No, I am not listening to you!" Gunklin shouted

We heard a woman scream as Gunklin dragged her along with a gun to her head. He looked around at the cops peeking out at him with their guns out pointing at him.

"You free my father and we'll talk!"

"You know we can't do that!" Brass said

"Don't lie to me! If you want this woman then you free him!"

"Ben, if you come peacefully we will talk about it."

Ben looked at Brass making the woman scream as he yanked her arm. Brass looked at him shaking his head no. Ben shook as he made the decision to end his life. He pointed the gun at the police. Shot's rang out as he was hit falling along with the woman. Brass ran over getting the gun out of Ben's lifeless hands. He knelt down touching the wounded ladies neck.

"She's alive!" He yelled

Grissom walked over looking at Ben Gunklin as we all stood back looking at the carnage.

"Good job everybody." Nick said, as he walked out of the locker room later. We all got our things to go home.

"Sara, we are all going out for a drink to celebrate." Warrick said, patting my arm.

Grissom glanced at me as he out his things away.

"I think I will pass."

"Okay, what about you Griss?"

"I have to go over some papers."

"See ya." Warrick said, going.

I closed my locker walking over to him.

"Papers?"

He closed his locker looking at me.

"Papers."

I smiled coming closer to him.

"Why don't we do something else?"

"Like what?"

I moved closer kissing him feeling his arms come around me. I moved back smiling.

"Why don't we go to my place?"

"That sounds like a good idea."

He took my hand squeezing it before letting me go taking my arm leading me out.


End file.
